Semantics
by anticute
Summary: PostIM1. PreIM2. Moviesverse. During his downtime, there isn't much for Tony to do except bother Pepper.


2010. that was when i began writing fic for tony and pepper - but i didn't think i'd actually WRITE them beyond a few random writings just to get them off my mind, much less think i'd ever post fics.

with that set up, i present to you one of earliest of my fics of tony and pepper.

which means: weak characterization, in my opinion. that which i can barely salvage. it is mainly dialogue. i think i was writing this to get a feel for the banter? seriously though - i never, ever thought i'd actually POST it, 'cause tony and pepper? THEY ARE HARD TO WRITE FOR.

**SEMANTICS**  
PostIM1. PreIM2. During his downtime, there isn't much for Tony to do except bother Pepper.

* * *

Tony at four years old liked to share what he learned, without any actual filter as to who would really understand all his technical jargon.

With his mother, he loved to go on and on about theories and concepts he learned in school and from reading his father's notes. Very early on, Maria had compromised with her husband that Tony would continue his studies in an appropriate school environment, supplemented with weekend tutors, before boarding school was ever an option.

As avidly as Tony would chatter about such matters, she would listen with equal intent - bright eyes, encouraging smiles, and laughter (oh yes, so much laughter because little Tony had very strange ideas that a part of her was amused with, but knew, somehow - her Tony would realize them someday.).

Then Maria wasn't there, to put it plainly. But if Maria wasn't there - when she was alive (boarding school, MIT) and more so when she was just _really_...not there (again, to put it plainly. She's dead, if you really want it to be more complicated. See? Now you're uncomfortable. Told you - plain is better.) - then Rhodey was there. Good ol' Rhodey. So Tony at fifteen, seventeen years of age shared things with Rhodey. Tony at thirty-six, still shares things with Rhodey - or at least, he had tried, but Rhodey wasn't having any of it. Really though, Tony would rather forget that moment of which his best friend let him down. (Besides, they're getting over that issue little by little, especially with how Rhodey is joking about Tony making him a suit.)

Tony at all ages can't help, but share with someone when he learns something new. He basks in the glory moment that follows.

"I am floored!"

Pepper blinks for a moment, looking up from her laptop screen. She blinks a few times, as her eyesight blurs from looking at pixels for so long. She notes his leaning against the wall at the bottom of the stairs, stupid grin, looking expectantly at her to respond. She sighs, deciding a break is needed anyhow.

"That's unfortunate," she replies calmly, "I hope you know you are actually quite upright and currently not intoxicated - surprisingly - enough to be otherwise."

Well, mildly so. Tony is and never has been quite...stable to be upright.

"No. I. Am. Floored. When did you get to be so gorgeous?"

Not missing a beat: "Since 1978."

"You have always been a looker and believe you me, I have been looking - in an appropriate way, trust me, stop glaring at me, and JARVIS, you too-"

"I have no eyes to glare at you with, sir. Shall I turn off the cams?"

"Don't bother. Anyway, Potts. When did you get to be so gorgeous? Because we have been together for... For..."

"A little over a decade, Tony. And we aren't together."

Yes, the semantics matter. Pepper knows what Tony's getting at. She does _not_ like the destination.

"Well, obviously, since you shut me down. Anyway," he waves a hand, either dismissing her rejection or her disagreement to their being together (or both), "you got gorgeous. Not suddenly. But suddenly, because holy fuck - you are gorgeous. And you are always gorgeous but see. See, Pepper - I have been in this habit for however many the years we have been together-"

"A little over a decade," she parrots, "and we aren't together." Her tone is firmer with the second half of her statement.

"-in thinking that you are, essentially, asexual."

"...What?" She stares at him, "Tony, what are you-"

"Because I mean, you never, ever seemed minimally interested in me, even when I was, you know, gloriously naked-"

"Modest," she says dryly, "I do believe in my contract we have it explicitly stated that we will never recall such unfortunate circumstances."

"-and you have gone on dates and had longtime boyfriends, sure. That one guy of six months doesn't count. He was a corporate spy. An incredibly obvious one. God, _Hammer_ is pathetic. Anyway, that kid was outed the second week of his 'mission', but then he started to stalk-"

"Date."

"-you because obviously he realized how gorgeous you are - carpe diem and all that crap. And you, you kept dating him even after the truth came out," he looks at her accusingly, "how's that for company loyalty?"

Pepper rolls her eyes.

He continues, "But see. See, Pepper - you were asexual to me for all that time-"

"JARVIS? Perhaps you can enlighten me as to how many hours of sleep he's been deprived of? Maybe he's short-circuiting? Drinking? All of the above, perhaps. Yes, that must be it."

"-anyway, you're so fucking gloriously gorgeous and I just realized it. Not like you haven't been gorgeous, like I said, but it just," he's fumbling for words, can't, and deciding that it is unimportant to find them, instead just snaps his fingers at her, "clicked. You're gorgeous. And you're not asexual to me anymore. Haven't been. For a while. So I'm floored."

Tony beams at her eagerly, "I'm done. You can talk. I'm floored. And you are...?"

Pepper places her hands back to the laptop, eyes still on him as she interrupts her screensaver with a swift touch on her mouse pad. Then wordlessly, she looks back to the screen to resume typing, "Busy. A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Floored. May I please speak to Mr. Anthony Stark? We have matters to attend to once he arrives. Rather important matters."

"I'm sure I've said this, but it needs saying anyway. It's hot when you say my whole name," he pauses and scrunches his face slightly, "Sort of. Reminds me of mom and that's weird - because I do not have an Electra complex. ...I think. Wait, is it the Electra complex when you have the hots for your mom? Wait, no. I don't know. Psychomumbojumbo. Anyway, you are no longer asexual to me, Pepper Potts!"

"Thank you, Tony." She replies, "And here I was, losing sleep in my concern of how my reproductive system worked. And you are male, so you would experience the Oedipal complex. Since I am female, I would have the Electra complex."

"Eh, psycho- Whoa, what? Reproduction! Calm down Potts! I just discovered your nonasexuality. We are moving faster than I thought since my coming up here to tell you this. But, hey. I approve. This is completely Stark approved."

"Asexual reproduction means reproducing by-" JARVIS begins helpfully before Tony snaps at him.

"_I know that_."

JARVIS tunes again, this time apparently to Pepper, "I believe Mr. Stark is referring to your sexual orientation, Miss Potts."

"Yes. Thank you, JARVIS. I gathered that," she continues sliding her fingers across the keyboard without a look to Tony, "So... If I was asexual. Then, how do you explain your incessant flirting in the little over a decade of which I have worked _for_ you."

"Oh. That."

Pepper lets him think, knowing full well just because she's silenced him for a few short seconds - he won't let this go. He has that stupid eager voice that won't shut up unless someone listens to his babble.

"Well," he begins, "like I said. I knew you were gorgeous - your legs, for one, are kind of hard to ignore-"

"Not that you have a good attention span in any capacity. Youtube assents to that."

"-which is kind of ridiculous - have you thought about it, Pepper?"

"About my legs? No, I'm afraid I do not think about my body singularly on a regular basis."

She bites her tongue about him thinking of his own body entirely too much. She did not need to invite more into this conversation.

"-you wear skirts that could be shorter, but don't and your legs...," he motions at said subjects with a hand, "And you show barely any cleavage. Not that I'm complaining. Dress how you like, Pep. That isn't to say that I think it isn't impressive. Must be. Has to be."

He pauses here to look at her deliberately and she deliberately ignores him. After a moment, he takes a sharp breath and declares, "Make cleavage part of dress code for the next SI charity event. Not for my benefit, but for you. I want you to breathe, Potts. It can be so stifling in your suits."

My, she thinks wryly, he is certainly sexual harassing her more than usual today. She would be upset (like she was in their earlier years), but he's not really intentionally harassing her. He's a flirt and right now - she's the only subject to be flirted at.

"I knew this from day one, but you are a very difficult man- No. Boy. To understand," she sighs, "and no, thank you. I am quite content and comfortable with the dresses I wear as is to formal events."

"Man, Potts," he corrects smoothly, "I am all man and I could prove it to you, if you'd only let me. Or I can get Rhodey's testimonial."

"There are so many questionable things with that sentence..."

"Dresses. With no back. Backs need more breathing room than chests? Got it. Tony Stark approves."

"Did you just refer yoursel- Never mind."

"Pepper! I just said you're not asexual anymore!"

"You have finally been able to decipher genders, Tony. And I thought you and your...activities may have been enough study to differentiate genders. I am so proud. Rhodey will be equally proud, I am sure."

"I am also very proud, Ms. Potts." JARVIS says kindly.

"Yes. You see, Tony, JARVIS is also proud. Shall we invite the bots in here for a little celebration? I have Happy on speed dial."

"I was hoping you would commend me for my observation."

"And when have I ever done that?"

"Point taken. But Pep-"

"Tony," she sighs, looking at him, "I know I'm not asexual. So your revelation has little significance to me. You, yourself, have to handle this...apparently flooring conclusion. While this conversation is... Well. Something, certainly. Entertaining, I will allow. You need to go back upstairs and _rest._ Let this little conclusion that you have so kindly shared with me settle innocently and quietly. We'll chalk it up to the drugs."

Tony frowned. Pouted, she permitted.

"You're not asexual. And you're beautiful. Can I take it that you know that now?"

Pepper takes a shaky breath at his damn semantics.

"Will that be all, Mr. Stark?"

Tony pockets his hands and nods plaintively, "That will be all, Ms. Potts."

* * *

Okay. No glory moment.

Tony can deal with that.

* * *

Rhodey can hear rapid typing as he nears the living room. He looks to the phone in his hand to check the time. It's only a little past seven, but he supposes he shouldn't be surprised Pepper's working so late, given Tony's most recent trip out of the country.

"Hey Pepper," he greets quietly so as to not startle her, knowing how absorbed she can get with work, "Brought some food."

Pepper looks up and smiles, "Rhodey, hi. Was the drive okay?"

She leans forward and stretches out an arm, setting aside a few papers that are on the coffee table to make room for him to set down the take-out boxes.

"A little traffic. Not too bad. How's he doing? His arm okay?"

She gives a short laugh, "What do you think? And yes, it will be fine."

Rhodey grins and nods, understanding her completely.

"I'll go get the utensils," Pepper says, "he's upstairs, so can you get him?"

"I'm not upstairs!" Tony voices loudly from the speakers, "But, hey! RHODEY. Rhodey!"

"...Yeah?" Rhodey responds worriedly.

"Pepper's not asexual!"

She rubs her temple.

* * *

i repeat: pepper is a damn saint.


End file.
